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Male Pattern Baldness

from The Aristocrat by Eric Schwartz

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lyrics

There ain’t nothing funny about male pattern baldness
I said there’s ntohing funny
About male pattern baldness
So why are you all laughing?
You’re all cold and heartless.

Some will say “no, no, nay
A toupee will save the day
But who’s gonna save the toupee
When the wind woos it away
There ain’t nothing funny
About male pattern baldness
So why are you all laughing?
You’re all cold and heartless.

As for testosterone
I do not think it’s fair
That the shit that makes you horny
Is the shit that kills your hair
There ain’t nothing funny
About male pattern baldness
So why are you all laughing?
You’re all cold and heartless.

credits

from The Aristocrat, released August 7, 2013
Eric Holden- Bass
Craig Macintyre - Drums
Reb Beach - Electric Guitar Shredding
Stevie Gurr - Breakdown Guitar
ES - Vox, Organ

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Eric Schwartz Los Angeles, California

Eric Schwartz might very well be the only artist in history to get raves from Gloria Steinem and Hustler magazine. Starting out in the folk music scene, Schwartz found that his favorite shows were the one where at least four people walked out. On the comedy scene, he's performed at the Improv, The Laugh Factory, the Comedy Store, on Howard Stern's 100, on All Things Considered. ... more

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