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Senator Whoever

from The Aristocrat by Eric Schwartz

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lyrics

Order, order, order everyone,
Finish up your doughnuts, set your PDAs to stun
We've got so little time and we got so much to do
And there's this tasty opportunity I gotta share with you

Times are kinda trying in the corporate world today
With the stinky liberal hippydippies standing in our way
They whine about the worker, chain their children to a tree
And they're using all these dirty words like transparency

Now they're setting up the barricades and fouling up the street
With the odor of patchouly and their stinky hippy feet
Now they're stirring up the masses and they think they're really clever
But we've got a secret weapon meet Senator whoever

He's the latest in technology, a bonafide advance
A walking opportunity a workaround in pants
Note the flag in his left hand, waving high for all to see
And his right hand set to shake whichever hand that pays his fee

And that, my little piggies, is just where we come in.
Our currency is currency, our objective is to win.
We buy him suits and wingtips of impeccable design
Then we give him golden fountain pens and tell him where to sign

And when we've got him used to all the goodies we provide
And we swear that we'll stand by him long has he stays on our side,
We'll make it clear that if he crosses us his credit we will sever
And mission accomplished. He's our senator whoever

But there's more to this equation then a big campaign donation.
We'll bankroll scads of issue ads 'til we saturate the nation

And all the flag-waving bible-thumpers go for the throats
Of all the whale-savin rump-a-humpers stumpin’ for votes
And they are all too busy making a fuss
To open up their eyes and realize their enemy is us

You may be asking “how’s this different from what we’ve always done?”
Well, after Citizens United, gentlemen, we’ve won.
There is no max With superpacs you cannot over reach
The supreme court finally figured out that bribery is speech

Plus, with money buying lobbyists and lobbies buying laws
Someone's gotta sign 'em so let's get behind the cause
And keep your eyes upon the prize, the ultimate endeavor
The purchase of the century, President Whoever
President whoever

credits

from The Aristocrat, released August 7, 2013
Stevie Gurr - Guitars
Heather Donavon - Backing Vocals
Eric Holden- Bass
Craig Macintyre - Drums
ES - Vox, Keys
Eric''s Vocals produced by Jeff Kossack, OtherHand studio, Woodland Hills, CA

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all rights reserved

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about

Eric Schwartz Los Angeles, California

Eric Schwartz might very well be the only artist in history to get raves from Gloria Steinem and Hustler magazine. Starting out in the folk music scene, Schwartz found that his favorite shows were the one where at least four people walked out. On the comedy scene, he's performed at the Improv, The Laugh Factory, the Comedy Store, on Howard Stern's 100, on All Things Considered. ... more

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