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Hallelujah (Bonus Track)

from The Aristocrat by Eric Schwartz

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lyrics

You've quoted Proust and Socrates
To try to get her on her knees
But all you got was coffee running through ya
If you want her on her back
Next time try a different tack
The poon-procuring Cadillac Hallelujah

Blackbird is a worthy choice
To display your great guitar and voice
Imagine is another that would do ya
But if you want the coup de grace, the pinnacle of panty loss
It's the cotton-melting anthem

Talkin' bout the Cohen song
The one that's 14 verses long,
But you wouldn't buy the sheet music Ya Jew-ya
But you knew that you would make her wet
When you stole it off the internet
The approximated chords of Hallelujah

This girl for whom you had the hots
You had her huffing Jaeger shots
Did a beer bong while exclaiming “booyah”
There's no beverage at a bar
To show a girl how hot you are
Like saying “My favorite song is Hallelujah”

You brought her flowers, bought her meal
Sure that that would seal the deal
But no matter what you tried, she never blew ya
But now you've got the golden goose
You're on a master cleanse of pussy juice
Since you learned the tune to Hallelujah

credits

from The Aristocrat, released August 7, 2013

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all rights reserved

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about

Eric Schwartz Los Angeles, California

Eric Schwartz might very well be the only artist in history to get raves from Gloria Steinem and Hustler magazine. Starting out in the folk music scene, Schwartz found that his favorite shows were the one where at least four people walked out. On the comedy scene, he's performed at the Improv, The Laugh Factory, the Comedy Store, on Howard Stern's 100, on All Things Considered. ... more

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